Making Friends 2020

On my travels to every continent on Earth, I have observed some truly remarkable people. I’ve climbed with Himalayan Sherpas on Mount Everest, run with indigenous tribes through the Amazonian rainforests, and herded with farmers on Scotland’s far-flung islands. I’ve partied with celebrities in Hollywood and sailed with sailors aboard giant aircraft carriers, conducted testing with doctors, and sat in courtrooms with lawyers.  I’ve been honored to be in the company of powerful leaders from various countries around the world.  I’ve eaten at the finest restaurants and slept in the lowliest homes.
Now, you would think that being so well-traveled, intelligent, and educated-a man of the world-I would have no trouble making friends. But actually, it’s quite the opposite. People hate me. I must radiate some sort of nauseating vibe. Every time I meet new people, they want nothing to do with me. It’s as if I have some hideous, grotesque creature perched on my shoulder, like a pirate and his winged companion. People are repelled when they see me coming. Maybe I’m the hideous creature. Perhaps they know of some dark, horrible secret I hold-something I’m unaware of.
I’ve always thought that being generous would draw people to me. A true friend is kind and shares what he has. I open my hand everywhere I go and to everyone I come into contact with. It hasn’t helped. Instead, people avoid me like the plague.
We should all have friends, people we care for, and people who care for us. People we can talk to when times are difficult. People who can embrace us when we are sad and rejoice with us when we laugh.
Why don’t people like me?
I just want to be accepted, loved, and nurtured! I want to be your friend! People hate me so much that even scientists at Moderna and Pfizer have created a vaccine to kill me. That’s so rude!