​"Just Ignore Me." (Originally Published ARZONO Anthology 2021)

I’ve been staring at this computer all day, typing away, my eyes feel like they are on fire. I’m not sure who is more uncomfortable, him or me, at least I’m sitting in a chair. He’s been sitting on the floor, with his legs crossed all day. Three more hours till I’m out of here.

“Will you stop that clicking noise,” he snaps. 

“I need to type, it’s my job, I’m a writer.”

“Seems super boring, click, click, click,” he says mockingly, gesturing with his hands.

He is so annoying. He sits around all day doing nothing except watch me and follow me around. Sometimes it’s nice to have him around, someone to talk to, someone that listens to me. But other times, he is like a nasty rash that you can’t get rid of. Not that I’ve ever had a nasty rash, it’s just what people say. Although, I think I would rather have a nasty rash than him. With a rash, you know it will eventually go away. Him, he’s been there my whole life.

Okay focus.…in these critical times…or complex times? no critical, I think… investors and banks need access to financial funding that is not….

“Will you stop that? I’m trying to write!” I say rolling my eyes.

“I feel like singing, just ignore me.”

“I can’t just ignore you when your singing Adele in that awful cat-like squeal, just stop please.”

“You used to love me singing.”

“Yeah, when I was a kid, and I didn’t have to work and hit deadlines!”

“Remember that time at Disneyland, we were singing so loud in the hotel, and your dad went ballistic?”

That brings an elusive smile to my face. “Yes, I remember, it was rather funny.”

I’m starving, didn’t eat breakfast. I think I will eat that salad. Needs fewer onions but it’s still good. I think these tomatoes are the best I’ve ever had.

He looks at me and then the salad, and then back to me. “A salad, again?”

“Shut up!” I growl.

“I mean, you flip flop back and forth on these ridiculous diets. One minute you’re bingeing on cheese puffs and candies, then you’re starving yourself eating crackers and water.”

“I know I know! What do you want me to do? Nothing seems to work for me," I say as I whip the fork into the salad piercing a piece of lettuce. 

I hate him.

“Exercise, exercise, exercise. You can’t do one and not the other. You need to eat healthier AND exercise,” he moves his arms back and forth as if running. 

He’s right.

“You’re right, I know.”

His raises his eyebrows at me. “Let’s walk home tonight instead of riding in one of those grubby cabs. Come on, finish clicking, and let’s go.”

“I need to finish this article for Friday’s paper.”

“Work, work, work. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I don’t work; it’s no big deal.”

Ok, so where was I … restricted by governments outside of….

“Do you overeat because mom and dad judged you all the time?”

Aaaaarrrrrrr, I’m never going to get this finished.

“What?!”

“Mom and dad… not my mom and dad, your mom and dad, they were always making comments about you not being good enough. Dad never hugged you or told you how much he loved you. Mom always had that condescending tone to her voice, didn’t she? ‘Clair Clair.’ Is that why you overeat? To spite her?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Every cheese puff you eat is a slap in the face of your mother, right?” he says nodding his head. 

He always does this. Now my mind is racing and I’m getting emotional. He’s right, though. Mom would hate me eating junk food.

“Yeah, I guess,” I admit. 

“Yup, I was right. I’m always right.”

“I think I also eat because I’m sad. So, I eat junk food because in that moment it makes me feel good.”

“You know, you are the nicest person I know, and I know a lot of people. You need to be at peace with yourself. Don’t listen to nelly.”

“Who’s Nelly?”

“Eh, negative Nelly,” he says slowly, his condescending voice returning. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll try.” 

“Come on, let’s sing. ‘I wish nothing but the best for you too.......’”

“Don’t forget me.....”

His face explodes in excitement. “Yessss!! Don’t you feel better singing?”

He’s right.

“Yes, you’re right.”

“You finish clicking away, and then we can sing while we walk home. But I’m going to sing now, just ignore me.”
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“Hey Clair, working all alone in the office again?”
​
“Hey Danny. Yes, I need to finish this report for Friday”