Freinds Like These

“Do I smell?”

Mickey glanced at Dom and shrugged. “Yeah, you’re rank!”

Dom shook his head. “No, I’m serious,” he said sharply.

“Ah, we both do. It’s part of the job,” said Mickey dismissively.

“I know we both smell when we’re down here. But I mean, like, after. At the weekends and stuff?”

Mickey shone his flashlight up toward a conduit pipe on the surface of the ceiling. Small rust stains bled from the bracket. “We got two up there. I say grade three, probably got another four or five months of life left.” 

Dom nodded and tabbed his iPad.

This work wasn’t a job for everyone. The repulsive stench invaded their nostrils. The dampness wetted their uniforms. It took a certain type. A certain personality to walk and maintain the subterranean world of urine and feces. But someone had to do it.

“What’s all this about, anyway?” said Mickey.

“It’s Gloria. You ever get the feeling someone is withdrawing from you?”

“How do you mean?”

 “She doesn’t want to snuggle on the couch anymore. Her hugs are a little…colder, I suppose.”

Mickey yawned and exhaled a soft groan.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Am I boring you?” snapped Dom.

“No, no. I love our intelligent conversations about the universe and the meaning of life, the smells of the world.” Mickey looked at Dom. “I’m sorry. No. This whole thing with Gloria and you smelling, it’s just your imagination, dude.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Dom scanned the floor with his flashlight. The black eyes of a bloated rat stared back at them and then scurried away, its tail slithering into the darkness of a crack in the wall.

Dom stopped and looked at Mickey. “Hey, you don’t think she’s cheating on me, right?”

“Got another one up there, grade one. We need to replace that soon…. Nah, she’s not cheating on ya.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Mickey curled his lips. “You’re a great guy, a provider. You’re funny. How do you make the jump from stinking like butt to her cheating on you?”

“Ah nothing.”

Mickey stopped and looked at Dom, more focused, more interested. “No, what is it?”

Dom shrugged. “She hides her texts from me. I ask her who she’s texting, and she brushes it off.”

“You…ever go through her phone?”

“She locks it.”

Mickey nodded and then kept walking along the sewer. “It’s probably nothing.”

“A few weeks ago,” said Dom, “she went away with some girls from work.”

Mickey turned and looked at Dom in the dim light. “And?”

“She wouldn’t answer any of my texts. My calls went right to voicemail. And when I asked her why should didn’t answer. She said she was just busy having fun with the girls.”

“I’m sure that was it,” said Mickey. “And a lot of times you don’t get good cell signal up in the mountains.”
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Dom paused in thought and then looked at Mickey. “How did you know she was in the mountains?”